I
wish to be kinder to my parents since I do love them very much but have
trouble controlling my anger. What can I do to make them happy rather
than hurt?
Walaikum Assalaam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu,
When you get angry and having an argument, try to suppress it by thinking that you are pleasing your Creator and suppressing anger is not a sign of weakness, its shows that you are strong. If you reply back to your mother, it will only worsen the situation so think you are pleasing your creator by suppressing your anger and be patient. Sometimes it happen that we can’t control our anger and reply back so when we realize our mistake, we should say sorry to our parents and ask for their forgiveness. Their hearts are really soft and they will forgive us in shaa Allah.
Here are some hadith which will help you to control your anger:
Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) said: Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.
Abu Dawud Book 036, Hadith Number 4766
The Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) said to us: When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.
Abu Dawud Book 036, Hadith Number 4764
Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: The strong-man is not one who wrestles well but the strong man is one who controls himself when he is in a fit of rage.
Sahih Muslim Book 032, 6313
A man said to the Prophet (peace be upon him), “Advise me! “The Prophet said, “Do not become angry and furious.” The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, “Do not become angry and furious.”
Sahih Bukhari , Book 073, Hadith 137
Narated By Sulaiman bin Surd : While I was sitting in the company of the Prophet, two men abused each other and the face of one of them became red with anger, and his jugular veins swelled (i.e. he became furious). On that the Prophet said, “I know a word, the saying of which will cause him to relax, if he does say it. If he says: ‘I seek Refuge with Allah from Satan.’ then all is anger will go away.” Some body said to him, “The Prophet has said, ‘Seek refuge with Allah from Satan.”‘ The angry man said, “Am I mad?”
Sahih Bukhari , Book 054, Hadith 502
It is reported on the authority of Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) observed: He who believes in Allah and the Last Day should either utter good words or better keep silence; and he who believes in Allah and the Last Day should treat his neighbour with kindness and he who believes in Allah and the Last Day should show hospitality to his guest.
Sahih Muslim Book 001, Hadith 0075
I hope it will be helpful. May Allah guide us to the straight path.
Ameen
When you get angry and having an argument, try to suppress it by thinking that you are pleasing your Creator and suppressing anger is not a sign of weakness, its shows that you are strong. If you reply back to your mother, it will only worsen the situation so think you are pleasing your creator by suppressing your anger and be patient. Sometimes it happen that we can’t control our anger and reply back so when we realize our mistake, we should say sorry to our parents and ask for their forgiveness. Their hearts are really soft and they will forgive us in shaa Allah.
Here are some hadith which will help you to control your anger:
Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) said: Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.
Abu Dawud Book 036, Hadith Number 4766
The Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) said to us: When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.
Abu Dawud Book 036, Hadith Number 4764
Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: The strong-man is not one who wrestles well but the strong man is one who controls himself when he is in a fit of rage.
Sahih Muslim Book 032, 6313
A man said to the Prophet (peace be upon him), “Advise me! “The Prophet said, “Do not become angry and furious.” The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, “Do not become angry and furious.”
Sahih Bukhari , Book 073, Hadith 137
Narated By Sulaiman bin Surd : While I was sitting in the company of the Prophet, two men abused each other and the face of one of them became red with anger, and his jugular veins swelled (i.e. he became furious). On that the Prophet said, “I know a word, the saying of which will cause him to relax, if he does say it. If he says: ‘I seek Refuge with Allah from Satan.’ then all is anger will go away.” Some body said to him, “The Prophet has said, ‘Seek refuge with Allah from Satan.”‘ The angry man said, “Am I mad?”
Sahih Bukhari , Book 054, Hadith 502
It is reported on the authority of Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) observed: He who believes in Allah and the Last Day should either utter good words or better keep silence; and he who believes in Allah and the Last Day should treat his neighbour with kindness and he who believes in Allah and the Last Day should show hospitality to his guest.
Sahih Muslim Book 001, Hadith 0075
I hope it will be helpful. May Allah guide us to the straight path.
Ameen