Salaam,
I've had this issue for a very long time and it has made life very
difficult for me. I am a Muslim alhamdulilah but when it comes to
praying I lack a lot. As everyone else we all sin however I'm in a
relationship which makes me think if I pray and ask for forgiveness it
will mean nothing as I am still in a relationship that may not lead to
marriage at the moment. I have no idea what to do and it's making me
stop my prayers because I feel ashamed when I pray yet I still sin
Walaikum Assalaam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu,
Fix your prayers and ask Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala for the help. Always remember that Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala plans are better than our wishes. Make lots of dua and while asking Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala always say “if it’s good for me” because we don’t know what’s good for us only Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala knows. It will make things easier for you or it will give you the courage to leave that relationship. As you know that in islam we are not allowed to have vain and casual talk with non mehram. So be patient and try to leave that relationship. If he/she is meant for you then you will eventually get him/her in halal way. The temptation will be there that you want to talk to that person but you have to suppress your desire for the sake of Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala. If you be in such relationship then you are giving more priority to your desires than pleasing Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala.
“But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.” (Quran 2:216)
Always remember this:
“No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself for the outcome of all affairs is determined by the decree of Allah. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come on your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from you it cannot flee.”
Umar ibn al Khattab (Radi Allahu Ta’ala Anhu)
On healing broken hearts:
If you are trying to get over a person you can’t be with, treat it like an addiction:
1. Cut yourself off from the drug completely: Cut off all communication and reminders–even if that means blocking numbers, emails, a Facebook profile, and stop checking their Facebook! This is your detox.
2. Replace it with something better: Increase in your thikr (remembrance of Allah) and get closer to Allah. If you aren’t praying your daily prayers, fix that. Pray all and pray on time. Pray qiyam in the last third of the night (just before fajr). Make duaa, tawbah (repentance), cry, plead to Allah. This is your treatment.
(Yasmin Mogahed)
Unlawlful love before marriage…
Ibn al Qayyim al Jawziyyah (rahimahullah) mentions in regards to unlawful love before marriage (i.e. haram sexual relations, or love for someone who you are unable to marry).
"And the cure for this deadly illness (i.e. unlawful love before marriage) is for the person that is afflicted to realise that this love is only due to his/her own delusions and ignorance.
So upon such a person is to first and foremost strengthen their Tawheed and reliance upon Allah, and secondly to increase in worship and busy themselves with it, so much so that they do not have any spare time letting their minds wander and think about their beloved.
And they should call upon Allah to protect them and save them from this evil, just as Prophet Yusuf called upon Allah and he was saved. And they should do as he did, be as he was, in terms of ikhlaas (sincerity) and remembering Allah in abundance.
This is because if the heart is filled with ikhlaas for the sake of Allah, there will be no space left for any unlawful love to be present, rather this only happens to a heart that is empty and has no ikhlaas whatsoever.
And let such people remind themselves that whatever Allah has decreed for them is only in their own best interests, and when Allah commands something it is never to cause harm or misery to His slaves.
And let them also remind themselves that their unlawful love does not benefit them, neither in this world or the hereafter! As for this world then they will be so preoccupied with their love that it will cripple them and will cause them to live in a fantasy world. And as for the hereafter then it will cause them to be preoccupied with the love of the creation instead of love for the Creator!
These people need to be reminded, that the one who is submerged in something will never see it’s ill effects, neither will the person who has never experienced such things. The only people who will be able to relate to them are those who have experienced the same thing but have been saved. Such people can look back and realise how evil it is.”
Following are the dua’s for the marriage:
1.Perform your obligatory prayer and after every prayer recite this dua you will get a good husband/wife when the time’s come in shaa Allah,
"Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous." (Quran 25:74)
2.Rabbi inni lemaa anzalta elayya min khairin faqeer (Chapter 28, verse 24)
My Lord! I am needy of whatever good You Send down for me
So, what you have to do is after you read this verse a number of times; make sure to ask Allah (God) in a way similar to what follows:
"Oh Allah! You have made every living thing in pairs. The sincere, beautiful and pious pair that you have created for me, please give it to me"
It is recommended that one recites this verse at least 10times and after finishing this dua ask Allah Almighty for a spouse that is kind, beautiful, soft hearted, pious, loving and a gentle soul mate. What you want in your spouse is what you should ask but if you don’t ask for piety or kind heartedness then don’t blame anyone but yourself.
3.”Rabbana aatina fi’d dunya hasana wa fi’l aakhirati hasana wa qina `adhab an-nar.” [O Lord! Grant us good in this life, and good in the next, and save us from the torment of the Fire] (Qur’an, 2: 200). Recite this dua’ with the intention of marriage as it is included in the phrase “fi’d dunya hasana” (good in this life).
4.My Lord, do not leave me alone and You are the best of inheritors. (Surah al-Anbiya` 21:89)
I hope it will be helpful. May Allah guide us all to the straight path.
Ameen
Fix your prayers and ask Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala for the help. Always remember that Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala plans are better than our wishes. Make lots of dua and while asking Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala always say “if it’s good for me” because we don’t know what’s good for us only Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala knows. It will make things easier for you or it will give you the courage to leave that relationship. As you know that in islam we are not allowed to have vain and casual talk with non mehram. So be patient and try to leave that relationship. If he/she is meant for you then you will eventually get him/her in halal way. The temptation will be there that you want to talk to that person but you have to suppress your desire for the sake of Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala. If you be in such relationship then you are giving more priority to your desires than pleasing Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala.
“But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.” (Quran 2:216)
Always remember this:
“No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself for the outcome of all affairs is determined by the decree of Allah. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come on your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from you it cannot flee.”
Umar ibn al Khattab (Radi Allahu Ta’ala Anhu)
On healing broken hearts:
If you are trying to get over a person you can’t be with, treat it like an addiction:
1. Cut yourself off from the drug completely: Cut off all communication and reminders–even if that means blocking numbers, emails, a Facebook profile, and stop checking their Facebook! This is your detox.
2. Replace it with something better: Increase in your thikr (remembrance of Allah) and get closer to Allah. If you aren’t praying your daily prayers, fix that. Pray all and pray on time. Pray qiyam in the last third of the night (just before fajr). Make duaa, tawbah (repentance), cry, plead to Allah. This is your treatment.
(Yasmin Mogahed)
Unlawlful love before marriage…
Ibn al Qayyim al Jawziyyah (rahimahullah) mentions in regards to unlawful love before marriage (i.e. haram sexual relations, or love for someone who you are unable to marry).
"And the cure for this deadly illness (i.e. unlawful love before marriage) is for the person that is afflicted to realise that this love is only due to his/her own delusions and ignorance.
So upon such a person is to first and foremost strengthen their Tawheed and reliance upon Allah, and secondly to increase in worship and busy themselves with it, so much so that they do not have any spare time letting their minds wander and think about their beloved.
And they should call upon Allah to protect them and save them from this evil, just as Prophet Yusuf called upon Allah and he was saved. And they should do as he did, be as he was, in terms of ikhlaas (sincerity) and remembering Allah in abundance.
This is because if the heart is filled with ikhlaas for the sake of Allah, there will be no space left for any unlawful love to be present, rather this only happens to a heart that is empty and has no ikhlaas whatsoever.
And let such people remind themselves that whatever Allah has decreed for them is only in their own best interests, and when Allah commands something it is never to cause harm or misery to His slaves.
And let them also remind themselves that their unlawful love does not benefit them, neither in this world or the hereafter! As for this world then they will be so preoccupied with their love that it will cripple them and will cause them to live in a fantasy world. And as for the hereafter then it will cause them to be preoccupied with the love of the creation instead of love for the Creator!
These people need to be reminded, that the one who is submerged in something will never see it’s ill effects, neither will the person who has never experienced such things. The only people who will be able to relate to them are those who have experienced the same thing but have been saved. Such people can look back and realise how evil it is.”
Following are the dua’s for the marriage:
1.Perform your obligatory prayer and after every prayer recite this dua you will get a good husband/wife when the time’s come in shaa Allah,
"Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous." (Quran 25:74)
2.Rabbi inni lemaa anzalta elayya min khairin faqeer (Chapter 28, verse 24)
My Lord! I am needy of whatever good You Send down for me
So, what you have to do is after you read this verse a number of times; make sure to ask Allah (God) in a way similar to what follows:
"Oh Allah! You have made every living thing in pairs. The sincere, beautiful and pious pair that you have created for me, please give it to me"
It is recommended that one recites this verse at least 10times and after finishing this dua ask Allah Almighty for a spouse that is kind, beautiful, soft hearted, pious, loving and a gentle soul mate. What you want in your spouse is what you should ask but if you don’t ask for piety or kind heartedness then don’t blame anyone but yourself.
3.”Rabbana aatina fi’d dunya hasana wa fi’l aakhirati hasana wa qina `adhab an-nar.” [O Lord! Grant us good in this life, and good in the next, and save us from the torment of the Fire] (Qur’an, 2: 200). Recite this dua’ with the intention of marriage as it is included in the phrase “fi’d dunya hasana” (good in this life).
4.My Lord, do not leave me alone and You are the best of inheritors. (Surah al-Anbiya` 21:89)
I hope it will be helpful. May Allah guide us all to the straight path.
Ameen