AsalamuAlaykum
I have been in a relationship with a man for over 6 years with the
intention of marriage. I have spoken to my father about it but he will
not allow us to get married because he is of a different culture (but he
is Muslim Alhamdulillah). My mother and other family members agree to
the marriage but my father will not approve because of the cultural
difference. We don't want to keep doing haram but is my father being
unreasonable? What do I do?
Walaikum Assalaam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu,
May be your father is rejecting because of some other issues but
still if there’s no issue ask your family members to convince him. If
your father is not getting agreed then I suggest you to be patient and
stay away from that man. In Islam we are not allowed to have vain and
casual talk with non mehram. If he is meant for you then you will get
him in halal way so be patient and ask Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala for the
help. Make lots of dua and while asking Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala
always say “if it’s good for me” because we don’t know what’s good for
us only Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala knows. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala loves
us more than our mother so His decisions are always for our own good
and we have to trust Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala.
“But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.” (Quran 2:216)
Always remember this:
“No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself for the outcome of all affairs is determined by the decree of Allah. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come on your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from you it cannot flee.”
Umar ibn al Khattab (Radi Allahu Ta’ala Anhu)
Following are some dua for marriage:
1.Perform your obligatory prayer and after every prayer recite this dua you will get a good husband/wife when the time’s come in shaa Allah,
"Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous." (Quran 25:74)
2.Rabbi inni lemaa anzalta elayya min khairin faqeer (Chapter 28, verse 24)
My Lord! I am needy of whatever good You Send down for me
So, what you have to do is after you read this verse a number of times; make sure to ask Allah (God) in a way similar to what follows:
"Oh Allah! You have made every living thing in pairs. The sincere, beautiful and pious pair that you have created for me, please give it to me"
It is recommended that one recites this verse at least 10times and after finishing this dua ask Allah Almighty for a spouse that is kind, beautiful, soft hearted, pious, loving and a gentle soul mate. What you want in your spouse is what you should ask but if you don’t ask for piety or kind heartedness then don’t blame anyone but yourself.
3.”Rabbana aatina fi’d dunya hasana wa fi’l aakhirati hasana wa qina `adhab an-nar.” [O Lord! Grant us good in this life, and good in the next, and save us from the torment of the Fire] (Qur’an, 2: 200). Recite this dua’ with the intention of marriage as it is included in the phrase “fi’d dunya hasana” (good in this life).
4.My Lord, do not leave me alone and You are the best of inheritors. (Surah al-Anbiya` 21:89)
I hope it will be helpful. May Allah guide us all to the straight path.
Ameen
May be your father is rejecting because of some other issues but
still if there’s no issue ask your family members to convince him. If
your father is not getting agreed then I suggest you to be patient and
stay away from that man. In Islam we are not allowed to have vain and
casual talk with non mehram. If he is meant for you then you will get
him in halal way so be patient and ask Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala for the
help. Make lots of dua and while asking Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala
always say “if it’s good for me” because we don’t know what’s good for
us only Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala knows. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala loves
us more than our mother so His decisions are always for our own good
and we have to trust Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala.“But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.” (Quran 2:216)
Always remember this:
“No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself for the outcome of all affairs is determined by the decree of Allah. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come on your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from you it cannot flee.”
Umar ibn al Khattab (Radi Allahu Ta’ala Anhu)
Following are some dua for marriage:
1.Perform your obligatory prayer and after every prayer recite this dua you will get a good husband/wife when the time’s come in shaa Allah,
"Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous." (Quran 25:74)
2.Rabbi inni lemaa anzalta elayya min khairin faqeer (Chapter 28, verse 24)
My Lord! I am needy of whatever good You Send down for me
So, what you have to do is after you read this verse a number of times; make sure to ask Allah (God) in a way similar to what follows:
"Oh Allah! You have made every living thing in pairs. The sincere, beautiful and pious pair that you have created for me, please give it to me"
It is recommended that one recites this verse at least 10times and after finishing this dua ask Allah Almighty for a spouse that is kind, beautiful, soft hearted, pious, loving and a gentle soul mate. What you want in your spouse is what you should ask but if you don’t ask for piety or kind heartedness then don’t blame anyone but yourself.
3.”Rabbana aatina fi’d dunya hasana wa fi’l aakhirati hasana wa qina `adhab an-nar.” [O Lord! Grant us good in this life, and good in the next, and save us from the torment of the Fire] (Qur’an, 2: 200). Recite this dua’ with the intention of marriage as it is included in the phrase “fi’d dunya hasana” (good in this life).
4.My Lord, do not leave me alone and You are the best of inheritors. (Surah al-Anbiya` 21:89)
I hope it will be helpful. May Allah guide us all to the straight path.
Ameen